Calling All My Friends:
Instructions
Seat everyone in a big circle with one person in the middle. Sometimes that’s me or the person leading the meeting or the club president or someone who volunteers or is randomly selected. It’s up to you. Like Musical Chairs, the goal of the person in the middle is to get into a chair.
The person in the middle then says in a loud voice so all can hear, “All my friends and neighbors who… (insert anything here – for example… WEARS GLASSES)”
At that point anyone who wears glasses (or whatever the mentioned THING is) has to get up immediately and move to a different chair.
Participants cannot move to any open seat immediately to their left or right.
The person in the middle then has to scurry to a vacated chair.
Of course, as in Musical Chairs, someone is going to be left without a chair. It’s now that person’s turn in the middle to repeat the process… “All my friends and neighbors who… (must insert something different here – for example… Are Green Bay Packers fans) have to move chairs.”
Modifications:
On occasions, I have randomly provided a notecard with a prompt to the person in the middle. I do this to ensure we meet a predetermined objective by revealing certain commonalities or individualities amongst the group. For example, if during a work retreat we need to learn who has access to what specific technology skills, I might provide prompts that ask about content creation, comms strategy, influencer contacts, etc.
Praxis (why + theory):
I have thought a lot about this game.
Within this game, participants develop empathy for others as they learn what it means to experience proximity to identity traits that they do not always share, but can understand as important and worthy. Reflecting on one participant’s invitation to her friends “whose parents did not go to college,” we can witness not only how the game undermines a western cultural hierarchy that would ordinarily place degree-bearing people above those without, but also how it cultivates a cultural competency as we realize our physical connections to someone else’s lived experiences. This realization of proximity to and the zeal of others, provokes an internal inquiry of our own positions in such arbitrary hierarchies.
Standing in the middle is an opportunity to invite your peers into a moment of vulnerability via a personal platform to highlight a shared experience. The caller is encouraged to share identities and experiences that have integrally shaped their sense of self. E.g. “I’m Ari. I’m calling all my friends with an autoimmune disorder.” With each round, we make space for more involved inquiry and story sharing. E.g. What disorder? What additional support can we offer? The act of physically moving our bodies across the circle creates a visual mapping of our commonalities as bodies collide, cross each other, and laughter overlays labored breathing and chairs screeching.
Emphatically, everyone must commit to being an active participant, as even those friends who are not called are learning to make space for experiences and identities that are not their own. In this way, the game is a tool for co-constructing safety within the learning space. A student explained how “Calling All My Friends” was her favorite activity because “the game made me feel not alone which was the point. My love language is feeling comfortable, and doing that made me feel more comfortable.” She continued, “Play has enhanced my experience on campus… [M]y freshman year was a Covid year. [And p]lay creates a sense of closeness.”
It is integral for the instructor to participate in the activities and corresponding discussions. Our participation establishes the vibe and initiates a collaborative process for forming the culture of the space. Our authentic presence – silly, candid, and sincere – aims to level the plain (plane) on which we all see each other, as students are able to witness our own strengths and weaknesses. “Play compels each of us to confront our perception of personal agency, as we are challenged to comprehend how our identities are laterally aligned (the fate of one is connected to the fate of all) instead of hierarchically (one person’s actions being more influential or important than others).” Moreover, in acknowledging our limited capacities as instructors to ensure comprehension and confidence in every student, certain games demonstrate our willingness to follow and engage our students as scholars, contributors, and facilitators, in whom we are invested for our own survival and wellbeing.